By the request of a reader. I have strayed from my usual clean writing today to better capture this scene.
Smack dat ass.”
“…uh what, that’s not how you talk to women. Your wife left you for the milk man after you beat her with a frying pan every night she didn’t make you dinner you pos.”
“No I was a great husband she was just a bitch. And all these other women are gold diggers, but this one seems easy I’ll get her number now.”
*Bad alpha guy walks over to women listen to music. And takes her headphones off and grabs her waist* “Hey angel you’re the only thing I want at the end of my bed.”
She shoves him off, “What like the thing you fucking hunt with the boys? I’m not a fucking lion head for decoration you pig.”
She pepper sprays him
*he walks away*
“That was totally uncalled for, I was giving her a compliment. Loads of women would love my load and love.”
The average Joe looks over at the woman getting her hand sanitizer out to wipe off the grime of the alpha male’s words.
“Real smooth man, you really get women. Maybe if you treated them with respect starting with your mother and two daughters you wouldn’t have this pain in your life.”
“My mother tells me I’m the greatest son ever and my daughters should be grateful I keep them safe and don’t sell their pictures to my friends.”
“…ignoring that last part…might need to put you on a list later…”
He continues, “Your mother only likes you because your father is an alcoholic that is worse than you and lobotomized her on the strongest drugs the 50s had. You look like her favorite actor and she wants to romanize everything else so she isn’t shot in the middle of the night by Jeff after he loses at poker.”
“No im great you’re just jealous all these women aren’t after you because I have money I wipe my balls with.”
The average Joe had had enough and walked over to the girl. “Hey, I’m really sorry you had to experience that. There’s a thrift store by the block if you need to get away from him. He would never step foot in somewhere so beneath him.” They both roll their eyes. “That’s where I got this leather jacket.” Her eyes light up, she realizes he was being earnest.
“I once found an Allyson Gust outfit from one of her first shows just lost in time. The cashier didn’t know it was one of a kind and I got it for 13 dollars.”
They both giggled
The alpha male grumbled alone trying to pour bottled water in his irritated eyes
“Yeah and if you’re into skateboarding too I have a skateboard 9000 if you want to borrow it. I get a ton of them with my work. Don’t worry I’m not a pro, just a guy good with wheels.”
“Sure, that would be fun. I’d like that. Just make sure that guy stays away from me.”
“How about this there’s a Knick knack store next to the thrift store and they sell fake tattoos and stuff. That guy wouldn’t even look at you if you dressed like a hot witch. He’d think god was coming for him or something. He’s shitty enough with all the demons to make the devil squeal.”
“Sounds wonderful, I’d love a world where I could exist, but here’s my number if we get separated and before I forget.”
The guy and girl walk past the alpha male elbows locked together.
The average Joe takes his water bottle and hands it to the girl.
“Here let me help you with that.”
With full force she throws the electrolyte water in his face further irritating it just enough to bother him the next day in his big boy meeting.
She then takes the empty water bottle and smacks him on the ass to leave a bruise that he needs to sit like a lady or stand pretty in the corner.
Lots of Honey 